Counting the Omer
“The tight or stuck places for which Mitzrayim (Egypt) is a metaphor exist within the self, to be discovered and released as we grow. Spiritual awakening requires releasing ourselves from our inner enslavement to old patterns, old self-definitions, old beliefs.”
Rabbi Ted Falcon from “A Journey of Awakening”
I begin seven weeks of counting the Omer. Meditating on the energies on the Kabbalistic tree of Life. A tradition. A ritual. A companion to Passover. Spiritually we have escaped Egypt, or Mitzrayim. A place of stuckness. Now we are in the desert. For seven weeks, I will cross the desert to the promised land of freedom. What do I bring with me? What will I leave behind in the desert? Will I leave behind stubbornness and procrastination? Will I take with me an open heart? I prepare, I write and still I am confused. Slavery can be deceiving, like an old pair of slippers that are worn and eaten away, the fit is still comfortable, still familiar. Freedom is the unknown, places that open the hole in the middle of my chest. Do I brave the fear or cling to what is familiar but useless?
I want to leave behind loneliness, pack it up and bury it in the sand. Pack up the addict that lurks in the shadows and whispers in my ear as sadness whispers in the other. I will be surprised. I will pack something I think I need and it will have to go. I will rush back and uncover something I buried and take it with me again. I will meditate on being human. I will meditate on being free. I will trudge the desert like my ancestors before me.
I will count the sheaves one at a time. One sefriot at a time. One meditation at a time. Watch the energy move through the tree of life. Watch the energy move in and out of my body and breath. I am familiar with that. I am ready. I have been here before.
Zack Hoffman 2017